The Search for Broadband II

And I thought I was weird part two

After I hang up with “Wendy” at Centuryt*l, I got back on-line and went to their website.

And waited for it to load.

And waited for it to load.

(dial up is SO lame!)

The reason I went to the website is that almost all company websites have a “contact us” button.

I found it. I clicked it. It gave me options!

This is too funny. Maybe it’s me and I’m just not looking in the right place. I just went to the website to find the addresses I found last time and guess what? They’re not there!!! But I digress.

I love saying “but I digress” I don’t know why but I do. Oops! I digress again!

Anyway.

I find the contact us button and one of the options is for the customer service VP. I think the VP is supposed to be for Vice President but for all I know it could be Virtual Potentate. Who can say?

Anywhoo they give me a little box and say I have 500 characters including spaces and punctuation to say what’s on my mind.

Right.

Long winded Will is going to say what he needs to say in 500 spaces? Right after he sprouts wings and flys.

Still, I did a creditable job of explaining my beef with “Wendy” and hit the send button.
As I do. I notice they give me said VP’s email address right there on the website. I don’t think I was supposed to notice it.
It was very obvious that they wanted me to use their “form”. Still, What could it hurt?

I copied and pasted the address to a regular email and gave them the whole sordid story but I completely left out “why” I was calling about broadband. Instead I simply said I thought I had a “unique situation” I wanted help with. That’s it. No details about distances or the cable buried in my yard; Nothing. I just mentioned the Unique situation a couple of times and kept the whole email about Wendy.

After all, I was emailing the VP of Customer Service. Not the VP of Broadband. If you know what I mean; Wink wink.

Later that evening The wife notices we have messages on our voice mail. See, when you have dial up you don’t get phone calls on that line. ( I just noticed I say “see” a lot. Hmmm. Oops digressing again!) Anyway a very nice southern lady, complete with accent is calling from their corporate headquarters in LA. (the state not the city) She left a very long message and really wanted to hear all about my “Unique Situation”.

I go to check my emails after checking my voice mail …..

….

…..


(See you hate dial-up too!)

and finally download this very long and official email saying everything on the voice mail complete with phone numbers to call them personally.

Wow.

But hey! I’m busy!

After a couple of days, I get another email from someone else. This is the reply to my “form” letter:

“Our records indicate that Wendy informed you that you are in too remote a location to receive broadband.”

Of course you KNOW I’m going to Hit the “Reply” button!

My reply was “On the contrary! She told me no such thing. She told me it was because there wasn’t enough Government funding but because C*nturytel is in fact an Office of the U.S. Government, I could call my Senator or Representative to get technical help!

Then I called the “Nice Lady” down south.

She apologizes for Wendy and assures me that they will do a thorough investigation into the matter.

She apologizes for the “other lady” that sent the last email.


So as a reward, I start to explain my “Unique Situation”. As I do, she calls up their website which has a place for anyone to enter their phone number to see if they can get broadband. She says:

“Well, I just looked up your number and it says ‘Congratulations! You qualify!’ of course it’s a slow speed of broadband but it does say you qualify!”

I remind her of Wendy. I remind her of the “other email” telling me I’m in too remote a location.

She says “I suppose it could have changed since then…”

Hey that’s great if it’s true! So she tells me they will have someone call me on Monday.

Tuesday comes and I finally get the call.

Sigh.

Sadly, there is more to this story.

Will I Get broadband???

Will a Senator install my Modem???

Will I simply lose my mind and be carried away by the nice gentlemen who have nice white coats? Will they give me a White coat too? Will they tie the sleeves in back??

Tune in next time for the continuing Saga

As the Broadband turns!

Long Winded Will.